Be sure to tune in to Daytime on Tuesday, March 31 when I’ll be talking about 5 Things You Should NEVER Say to a Woman

5 Things to Never Say to a Woman

This Tuesday on Daytime, I’ll talk about the topics that put you at risk for spending the night in your car. Or in the doghouse. Last week we talked about the six things you should never say to a man — this week, we feel it’s only fair to let the guys know the things you should never (ever) say to a woman. If you’ve ever said something you considered to be completely innocent, only to have your wife or girlfriend flip out, you may have stumbled on to one of these taboo topics:

1) “Relax”
You may think you’re being helpful, but to us, it feels like you’re being dismissive of how we’re feeling — in our minds, you’re telling us that what we’re upset about really isn’t a big deal. The thing to remember here? If we’re upset about it, it’s a big deal to us.

2) “It’s up to you.”
You may think you’re being a nice guy in giving her everything she wants, but to a woman, it feels like you don’t care enough to engage in the conversation. (It also feels like we have to do all the work,a nd you’re just going to sit back for the ride.

The next time your girlfriend or wife asks you what you think about a movie, restaurant or choice of outfit, offer a suggestion. You can always be the sweetheart and give her way later if you want to.

If we ask for your opinion, please give it. Besides, most women LOVE a man who knows what he likes.

3) “You knew I was this way when you met me”
This is just about the worst cop-out known to woman. Relationships are about the evolution of a couple, and with this choice comment, you’re basically saying that you’re not willing to actually participate in the relationship. (And if that’s true, you just get out, and put the poor woman out of her misery.)

Hook up with any woman who gives you the opportunity? — you knew I was this way when you met me.
Leave old pizza boxes scattered in the kitchen like a thirteen-year-old? — you knew I was this way when you met me.

4) “Is it that time of the month?”
Even if you’re right, there’s just no way to ask this question and get a positive outcome.

Only in some crazy, alternate universe would a guy say, “honey, is it that time of the month?” and not have a coffee cup hurled at his head.

She’s never going to say, “gee, sweetie, you’re right, I have been cranky and unreasonable all day”

Your best bet is to keep an emergency stash of chocolates and just wait until the hormone storm passes you by.

5)”When are you due?”
This is a mistake most people only make once, but it’s a big one. Never assume that a woman with a tummy bulge is pregnant. She may have already had a couple of kids and is having a hard time losing the baby weight. Or, she may just have an affinity for cupcakes. Either way, you don’t want to take a chance. Ever.

Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

Three Little Words

Dear Words,

Be patient, and don’t put so much importance on those three little words. They are, after all, just words. There are plenty of guys who will tell you they love you and then turn around and flirt with your roommate the second you leave the room, or use the “love” word as a relationship chaser for all sorts of other crap they pull.

I’d take the sweet, silent type every day of the week. Clearly your guy knows how to express love, even if the words are a little slow to escape. He’ll say it when he’s ready. What is most important is how he treats you, not what he says. It sounds like you have a great guy. Let him go at his own pace.

XO,

Lisa

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Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

Dear Swim Guy,

Where the hell is David Hasselhoff when you need him? Unfortunately, there’s no Ego Lifeguard to pull you out from under the murky, piranha-infested breakup waters. You’re out there alone, pal. The best I can do is throw you a line.

It sounds like you’ve already taken rescue step one by heading back to the gym. Buffing up your bod will build up your ego at the same time, and exercise releases all those happy endorphins that make you feel good, despite your love life. A few swooning gym babes won’t hurt the cause either.

The next step you need to take is to create the life you’ll be happy with, whether your ex is in it or not. You say you’re not sure you even want her back. I hate to be heartless (although occasionally it is necessary, and you guys know I’m up to the task…) but you’ll be a lot better off if you decide that you don’t. Once you abandon the hope that you’ll get her back, you can open your life up for better options. Move on. Whether that means turning yourself into the next Mr. Universe, writing rap, or dating every chick you meet, the quicker you get started the better.

There are a few things you can do to help you get through the rough spots. First, keep swimming. Second, get out with your buddies every weekend. Play some hoops, watch a game, just make sure you’ve got a little male bonding on the schedule, especially on the weekend nights, or at times when you’re most likely to miss the fickle chick. Last, give yourself a little treat once a week for the next month. You’ve been through some rough stuff, you deserve it. Buy a new CD. Get a massage. Replace the batteries in your remote for extra speedy channel surfing.

It sounds like you’re a fabulous guy who maybe needs to work a little on his approach. So, the next time you start a new relationship, take it slowly before you hand over your heart on a silver platter. (In other words, don’t dive in head first. Dip your toe in to see how cold the water is.) I know lots of women who would love a guy who’s “too nice and doesn’t want to play the game.” In fact, I get a couple dozen letters from them every single day. It’s also important to remember that your ex is not representative of her entire sex. I know you’re angry now, but don’t treat your next girl like crap just to even the score.

As for Miz-Fickle-Turn-On-A-Dime, she may come crawling back once she sees how easily you’ve moved on. For some reason we women are always attracted to guys who manage to live without us. But by then, hopefully, you’ll be too busy to care. And then she’ll be writing me a letter telling me about the only nice guy she ever dated – and how she let him get away.

XO,

Lisa

Have a question for Lisa Daily? Leave a comment below.

Get more free dating advice from Lisa Daily & DatingExpert.TV!
Sign up for the free Dating Tips newsletter below and we’ll send you * * 5 Secrets to Make the Guys Go Gaga!* We never share or sell your info.

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Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.