Dear Lisa,

Dear Thrill,

It is true that you are most likely to be dumped in the first 3-5 months of a relationship. That new-person thrill starts to fade (sort of like the new-car smell) and couples tend to end it before things get too complicated. Or, they decide they like each other and take the relationship to the next level.

Unfortunately, there’s not enough information in your letter to know if a breakup is impending, but it sounds like your guy may just be starting to get comfortable in the relationship.

That said, I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that your gentleman is a real person, and not a character in a romance novel. If that is indeed the case, you have GOT to cut this guy some slack!

It is impossible to maintain an extremely high level of intensity for an extended period of time. Eventually you have to sleep, wax your legs, or (gasp) go to classes. There is probably nothing wrong at this point. Your guy is starting to relax a bit and can’t possibly go on chasing you at full throttle forever. Marathon romance only happens on the Lifetime channel.

I am concerned though, that your insecurity and persistent questioning (Is anything wrong? Are you sure nothing’s wrong? Would you tell me if anything was wrong?) will most certainly drive this man (and every other man) in the opposite direction. Believe what he is telling you, give him a little space, and do your own thing for a while. If you’ve been spending 24-7 with this guy for four months, you’ve probably been neglecting your girlfriends anyway.

Take a step back, put a muzzle on, and give your guy (and yourself) some space. Otherwise, the rejection you’re fearing will soon be a rejection you’re feeling.

XO,
Lisa

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Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

Dear Lisa,
I am a man, and I would like to know why my girlfriend dumped me! Women also do the dumping! Why do you NOT have a WHY WOMEN DUMP MEN column on your site? Is it only a figment of the mind that men are also human?

Dear Rep,
Yes, men are human. Most of them, in fact, are absolutely fabulous humans.
To answer your question, there is one main reason why my columns address women’s problems more frequently than men’s. First, for every letter I get from a man, I get ten from women. When I’m sifting through my mountains of mail, lots more of the letters are from women. I’m always delighted to offer advice or the female perspective to men who write in, but I need to be fair to my readership. The number of male writers is growing every month, and as more men write in, I’ll happily answer even more of their questions. It’s not a conspiracy, I promise.

As to why there’s no “Why Women Dump Men” article on my site, well, I’ve just never gotten around to taking that poll. But, since you asked, I’ll be happy to ask the question and let you know.
Here is goes: Okay, girls – What reasons or factors cause you to dump a guy? Post your comments and let us know! (Click the “comments” link at the top of this page)

XO,
Lisa

Have a question for dating coach Lisa Daily? Leave a comment below.

Get more free dating advice from dating coach Lisa Daily & DatingExpert.TV!
Sign up for the free Dating Tips newsletter below and we’ll send you * * 5 Secrets to Make the Guys Go Gaga!* We never share or sell your info.

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Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

Lisa Daily’s Man-Magnet Cake. (A family recipe!)

According to a recent study at the University of Chicago, men associate the scents of cinnamon and vanilla with love.

This came as no surprise to me. My aunt had been driving men wild with her own cinnamon-vanilla cake for years. She was like the Pied Piper of baked goods.

My beloved Aunt Anne, (nickname: Dancing Annie) who was happily married to my Uncle Jack for nearly 50 years before he passed away, used to make this particular cake every week.

After he died, Aunt Anne began to date. Even in her eighties, she had suitors lined up around the block.

She still made the cake every week. We call it The Man-Magnet Cake.

Go ahead and woo the object of your affection with fresh-baked scents of cinnamon and vanilla. I don’t know if it’s the food/Mom connection, or something deeper in their hardwiring. All I know is, it works like catnip for men.

The secret is to put the Man-Magnet Cake in to bake about an hour before your man arrives. Your place will have a yummy, homey cinnamon smell that men just can’t get enough of.

Using cinnamon and vanilla as bait to attract men, and other unique man-snagging secrets can be found in Stop Getting Dumped! and How To Date Like a Grown-Up

THE MAN-MAGNET CAKE

Ingredients for cake:

1 package yellow cake mix
4 eggs
1 cup sour cream
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup water

Ingredients for cake filling:

2 teaspoons of cinnamon
1 cup finely chopped pecans
2 Tablespoons of brown sugar

Ingredients for Vanilla Glaze:

1 cup powdered sugar
1 1/2 Tablespoons warmed milk (do not boil)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Preheat oven to 375.

In a large bowl, combine all cake ingredients and beat at high speed for 2 minutes. Pour approximately two-thirds of the batter into a greased and floured 10-inch tube or bundt pan.

Combine filling ingredients and sprinkle liberally over cake ingredients in pan. Spread remaining cake batter over filling mixture and bake for approximately 50 minutes at 375 degrees, until cake springs back when touched. Cool in pan for half an hour, then turn pan upside down and gently remove.

Prepare Vanilla Glaze when ready to use by sifting powdered sugar into a bowl, then adding in vanilla and heated milk. If glaze is not liquid enough to drizzle, a little more milk (up to 1 teaspoon) may be added.

Drizzle vanilla glaze on top of cake, letting it drip down the sides. Stand back, and watch the men come running.

Lisa

Have a question for dating coach Lisa Daily? Leave a comment below.

Get more free dating advice from dating coach Lisa Daily & DatingExpert.TV!
Sign up for the free Dating Tips newsletter below and we’ll send you * * 5 Secrets to Make the Guys Go Gaga!* We never share or sell your info.

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Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.