Be sure to tune in to Daytime on Tuesday, July 27 when I’ll be talking about How Music Can Improve Your Chances of Getting A Date

Advice for Dating: Girls Love a Romantic Soundtrack

CAN BACKGROUND MUSIC UP YOUR CHANCES OF GETTING A DATE? A new French study reported in Psychology of Music found that women are much more likely to agree to a date when romantic music is playing in the background.

How did the study work?

French researchers studied 87 18-20 year old women. The women were asked to wait in a waiting room — some listening to a love song, others listening to a neutral song. They were then asked to rate two different food products by a man rated extremely average-looking by another group of women, “Antoine.” (Yep, that’s a prize you don;t really want to win.)

The researchers chose ‘Je l’aime à mourir’, a very well-known love song by French songwriter Francis Cabrel which, loosely translated means, “I loved her to death,” You can see Francis working his magic here. For similar American mushiness, I’d recommend Marc Cohn’s “True Companion.”

“Antoine” had the task of asking out the 87 women, all with the same generic pick-up line, “My name is Antoine, as you know. I think you are very nice and I was wondering if you would give me your phone number. I’ll phone you later and we can have a drink together somewhere next week.”

What did they find?

The romantic love song in the waiting room almost doubled average Antoine’s chances of getting a woman’s phone number — 52% of participants agreed to a date while under the influence of Francis Cabrel, while only 28% of women listening to the neutral song offered their digits.

How can music affect dating so dramatically?

There are a variety of theories floating around about that one. It’s possible that the romantic music acts as sort of a prime for romantic feelings — after all, we’ve all been conditioned with thousands of romantic movies with music to match. It’s also possible that the music induces an emotion that makes us more open to romantic possibilities. And, the researchers had already learned that playing romantic music in a flower shop entices men to spend more money. That’s right, women aren’t the only ones turning to romantic mush when we hear the first strains of At Last. (My own personal kryptonite, btw.)

How can we use the study to get more dates?
Well, if you’re working up the courage to flirt with a woman you meet at a nightclub or party, you might just want to wait until a romantic ballad is playing. If you’re planning on bringing a date back to your apartment later, be sure you’ve got a romantic soundtrack at the ready. And if you’re looking to put the spark back in your long-term relationship, you might try playing the song you had your first dance to.

Find out more ways to make your home more appealing to your dates and which scents attract the opposite sex.

XO,

Have a question for Lisa Daily? Leave a comment below.

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Need Advice for Dating? Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

Every once in a while, a niche dating site comes along that is just so bizarre, strange, or interesting that I feel the need to bring it to your attention.

Such is the case with Sea Of Love online dating which is an undersea-themed dating site which offers the usual profile sign-up procedure, romantic advice (dispensed by a mermaid, of course) and whatnot. But the site also features an interactive shopping mall, and celebrity impersonations, and a game room, where else, but in the Bermuda Triangle.

One big plus to this imaginary ocean — BP isn’t anywhere near it.

I’m a big beach fan myself, but Sea Of Love online dating felt a little too kitschy for my tastes — like something that would appeal more to preteen girls than actual grown-ups.

What do you think? Cool or clueless?

If you decide to check out Sea Of Love online dating, be sure to let me know exactly what you think.

XO,

Have a question for Lisa Daily? Leave a comment below.

Get more free dating advice from the dating coach! Sign up for Lisa’s free Dating Tips newsletter and get *5 Secrets to Make the Guys Go Gaga!* We never share/sell your info.

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Need Advice for Dating? Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

Everyone from teen-aged girls to single women to suburban mommies to grandmothers are going crazy over Jacob Black, hottie werewolf and Edward Cullen, the drool-worthy vampire in the wildly popular new Eclipse movie.

Why are women everywhere lusting over Hollywood’s latest bloodsucker? It isn’t just the fact that the vampire Edward Cullen is played by the uber-yummy Robert Pattinson (although that helps.) Twilight author Stephenie Meyer has created the perfect man in Edward: Smart, funny, handsome, and utterly possessed by the girl he loves.

Bring On the Bad Boy Vampires.

Edward isn’t our first vampire to turn our heads, and he certainly won’t be the last. Who can forget Bill from HBO’s popular First Blood, Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and of course, the vampire Lestat from Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles?

What’s so appealing about vampires?

Lit and Hollywood vampires have a stunning appeal to our most basic instincts: They are powerful, they are always devastatingly handsome, and they are more than a little bit dangerous. Vampires are the ultimate bad boys: They are self-assured, inherently sensual and hold the promise of eternal youth. And, um, there’s always the possibility they might bite you in bed.

Not only that, falling for a vampire is the ultimate high stakes love affair — if you win his love, it will be forever. (Although, if you don’t, you’ll probably wind up as his dinner.)

In the case of Edward Cullen, there’s something so devastatingly tempting about a man who is so self-sacrificing – so in love with us that he is willing to deny the most basic part of himself just to be with us. He’ll endure the greatest pain and sacrifice he’s ever known to love us, protect us, save us from the bad guy.

SWF Seeks Vampire .

This is the very reason why we find vampire characters so appealing – they illustrate what we want for ourselves: passionate, once-in-a-lifetime, undying love. Someone who would do anything to be with us. Someone who would protect us from those who might harm us. Someone who’s willing to commit to forever.

But all of those appealing traits come in a very dark package. Our minds know this, but sometimes the appeal of the bad boy, (vampire or otherwise,) is pretty difficult for our hearts to resist.

Why would any woman be willing to risk so much?

Certainly there are some women who like the curl-your-toes challenge of trying to get a leopard to change his spots. But most women who are attracted to such bad boys are suffering from low self-esteem. The only way you feel worthy of love, is if some man deems you so worthy he’s willing to go to extraordinary lengths to win you. You’re looking for someone who sees something in you that you can’t see for yourself.

The problem with this is that dating a high-stakes guy means the odds are a lot higher that you’re going to lose. So, instead of finding that amazing guy who finally makes you feel like you’re worth something, you’re way more likely to end up as roadkill – your heart broken by yet another man to reinforce what you already believe – that you aren’t worth it after all.

And there’s nothing more tragic than that. Because as steamy as Edward and his brethren might be, the truth is, we never find true love until we know we deserve it.

XO,

PS — You deserve it

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Need Advice for Dating? Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.