Advice for Dating -- Dating Coach Lisa Daily, America's Leading Dating Expert.

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Need Advice for Dating? Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

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VIDEO: Decorating For Dating

Advice for Dating. Which Music Doubles Your Chances of Getting a Date? THIS WEEK ON DAYTIME

Lisa — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 18:14:51 +0000

Be sure to tune in to Daytime on Tuesday, July 27 when I’ll be talking about How Music Can Improve Your Chances of Getting A Date

Advice for Dating: Girls Love a Romantic Soundtrack

CAN BACKGROUND MUSIC UP YOUR CHANCES OF GETTING A DATE? A new French study reported in Psychology of Music found that women are much more likely to agree to a date when romantic music is playing in the background.

How did the study work?

French researchers studied 87 18-20 year old women. The women were asked to wait in a waiting room — some listening to a love song, others listening to a neutral song. They were then asked to rate two different food products by a man rated extremely average-looking by another group of women, “Antoine.” (Yep, that’s a prize you don;t really want to win.)

The researchers chose ‘Je l’aime à mourir’, a very well-known love song by French songwriter Francis Cabrel which, loosely translated means, “I loved her to death,” You can see Francis working his magic here. For similar American mushiness, I’d recommend Marc Cohn’s “True Companion.”

“Antoine” had the task of asking out the 87 women, all with the same generic pick-up line, “My name is Antoine, as you know. I think you are very nice and I was wondering if you would give me your phone number. I’ll phone you later and we can have a drink together somewhere next week.”

What did they find?

The romantic love song in the waiting room almost doubled average Antoine’s chances of getting a woman’s phone number — 52% of participants agreed to a date while under the influence of Francis Cabrel, while only 28% of women listening to the neutral song offered their digits.

How can music affect dating so dramatically?

There are a variety of theories floating around about that one. It’s possible that the romantic music acts as sort of a prime for romantic feelings — after all, we’ve all been conditioned with thousands of romantic movies with music to match. It’s also possible that the music induces an emotion that makes us more open to romantic possibilities. And, the researchers had already learned that playing romantic music in a flower shop entices men to spend more money. That’s right, women aren’t the only ones turning to romantic mush when we hear the first strains of At Last. (My own personal kryptonite, btw.)

How can we use the study to get more dates?
Well, if you’re working up the courage to flirt with a woman you meet at a nightclub or party, you might just want to wait until a romantic ballad is playing. If you’re planning on bringing a date back to your apartment later, be sure you’ve got a romantic soundtrack at the ready. And if you’re looking to put the spark back in your long-term relationship, you might try playing the song you had your first dance to.

Find out more ways to make your home more appealing to your dates and which scents attract the opposite sex.

XO,

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Need Advice for Dating? Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

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REVIEW: The Best Free Dating Sites

More Advice for Dating: Niche Dating Sites

Lisa — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 18:02:39 +0000

Every once in a while, a niche dating site comes along that is just so bizarre, strange, or interesting that I feel the need to bring it to your attention.

Such is the case with Sea Of Love online dating which is an undersea-themed dating site which offers the usual profile sign-up procedure, romantic advice (dispensed by a mermaid, of course) and whatnot. But the site also features an interactive shopping mall, and celebrity impersonations, and a game room, where else, but in the Bermuda Triangle.

One big plus to this imaginary ocean — BP isn’t anywhere near it.

I’m a big beach fan myself, but Sea Of Love online dating felt a little too kitschy for my tastes — like something that would appeal more to preteen girls than actual grown-ups.

What do you think? Cool or clueless?

If you decide to check out Sea Of Love online dating, be sure to let me know exactly what you think.

XO,

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VIDEO: Are You a Bad Date?

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Need Advice for Dating? Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

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Advice for Dating: Pick Up Artists and Other Wild Animals

Lisa — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 17:31:39 +0000

A lot of guys are combing the Internet in search of advice or tips on how to meet women, how to get more sex, or how to become a pick up artist like those one-named wonders Mystery, Style, Gambler, and Matador.

(Full disclosure: as a woman, I can hardly imagine being able to stop cracking up long enough to actually hook up with anyone named “Gambler” or “Matador” if I were otherwise inclined, but I digress.)

Some of the advice given on these pua forums and websites is actually good information — how to stand out and make women notice you (wear bulky clothing to appear bigger than you are, stand in a dominant stance when you’re trying to attract women, use humor to disarm) but many of the sites available purport to teach guys how to get a girlfriend, when in all actuality, they’re really just giving advice on how to get sex by faking a connection that doesn’t really exist, other than insert tab B into slot A.

Two different things.

If you want sex without strings, my advice is not for you. Why? There are always strings. Women are biologically and chemically programmed to bond with a man during sex. Sorry. Sometimes it’s not such a great thing for us either.

If you, however, are interested in actually finding a girlfriend, while pick up advice can help you use your testosterone to your greatest advantage in meeting a woman, the thing to remember is that no two women are alike, no two couples are alike, and that finding a real mental, physical and sexual bond with someone only happens when you’re both being true to who you really are.

So, while pick up advice might help you get the girl, it will rarely help you keep her. There is someone exactly right for the real you. Someone who will love you, respect you, and help you accomplish all that you’re destined to.

Be yourself. And stay away from dorky nicknames.

XO,

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Need Advice for Dating? Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

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Eclipse Debuts. Are You Team Edward or Team Jacob? Why Women Love Vampires

Lisa — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 04:48:54 +0000

Everyone from teen-aged girls to single women to suburban mommies to grandmothers are going crazy over Jacob Black, hottie werewolf and Edward Cullen, the drool-worthy vampire in the wildly popular new Eclipse movie.

Why are women everywhere lusting over Hollywood’s latest bloodsucker? It isn’t just the fact that the vampire Edward Cullen is played by the uber-yummy Robert Pattinson (although that helps.) Twilight author Stephenie Meyer has created the perfect man in Edward: Smart, funny, handsome, and utterly possessed by the girl he loves.

Bring On the Bad Boy Vampires.

Edward isn’t our first vampire to turn our heads, and he certainly won’t be the last. Who can forget Bill from HBO’s popular First Blood, Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and of course, the vampire Lestat from Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles?

What’s so appealing about vampires?

Lit and Hollywood vampires have a stunning appeal to our most basic instincts: They are powerful, they are always devastatingly handsome, and they are more than a little bit dangerous. Vampires are the ultimate bad boys: They are self-assured, inherently sensual and hold the promise of eternal youth. And, um, there’s always the possibility they might bite you in bed.

Not only that, falling for a vampire is the ultimate high stakes love affair — if you win his love, it will be forever. (Although, if you don’t, you’ll probably wind up as his dinner.)

In the case of Edward Cullen, there’s something so devastatingly tempting about a man who is so self-sacrificing – so in love with us that he is willing to deny the most basic part of himself just to be with us. He’ll endure the greatest pain and sacrifice he’s ever known to love us, protect us, save us from the bad guy.

SWF Seeks Vampire .

This is the very reason why we find vampire characters so appealing – they illustrate what we want for ourselves: passionate, once-in-a-lifetime, undying love. Someone who would do anything to be with us. Someone who would protect us from those who might harm us. Someone who’s willing to commit to forever.

But all of those appealing traits come in a very dark package. Our minds know this, but sometimes the appeal of the bad boy, (vampire or otherwise,) is pretty difficult for our hearts to resist.

Why would any woman be willing to risk so much?

Certainly there are some women who like the curl-your-toes challenge of trying to get a leopard to change his spots. But most women who are attracted to such bad boys are suffering from low self-esteem. The only way you feel worthy of love, is if some man deems you so worthy he’s willing to go to extraordinary lengths to win you. You’re looking for someone who sees something in you that you can’t see for yourself.

The problem with this is that dating a high-stakes guy means the odds are a lot higher that you’re going to lose. So, instead of finding that amazing guy who finally makes you feel like you’re worth something, you’re way more likely to end up as roadkill – your heart broken by yet another man to reinforce what you already believe – that you aren’t worth it after all.

And there’s nothing more tragic than that. Because as steamy as Edward and his brethren might be, the truth is, we never find true love until we know we deserve it.

XO,

PS — You deserve it

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Need Advice for Dating? Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

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See more break up signs here.

Jake and Vienna Break up: Another ‘Bachelor’ Couple Bites the Dust

Lisa — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 14:29:08 +0000

Hold on to your keyboards, kids, I have some news that’s going to shock you. Oh, wait, never mind.

‘Bachelor’ show Pilot Jake Pavelka and Florida party girl Vienna Girardi have broken up amidst accusations that Vienna has been cheating with Gregory Michael of the ABC Family show ‘Greek.’ Vienna denies the rumors.

Jake is best known for crying after being eliminated from Dancing With The Stars, saying, “This is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be.” TMZ is reporting that Vienna’s step mom Lisa implies that Jake is “only motivated by ratings and not love” and said, “in real life, they never kissed, didn’t have a romantic relationship and he never told her that he loved her.”

Of the 14 couples created on “The Bachelor”, all have broken up. The only marriage so far resulted when Season 13 Bachelor Jason Mesnick dumped the girl he proposed to on the show, Melissa Rycroft, and married the runner-up, Molly Malaney, instead. On TV, of course.

Normally, I’d offer some kind words of advice on how to survive a breakup to poor Jake and Vienna, but the truth is, I don’t think they were ever a real couple. In watching them together on film in and photos, their body language doesn’t suggest love, just really bad acting.

XO,

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Need Advice for Dating? Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

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What Your Favorite Pizza Topping Says About Your Lovelife

Advice for Dating : Want to meet one of Florida’s most eligible bachelors?

Lisa — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 17:01:00 +0000

I found myself at an event for Alex Sink this morning, which was lots of fun due to the fact that all kinds of really smart, interesting women were in attendance.

I also met a witty, charming guy who is a tall, single, employed, 32-year old Princeton grad. If that weren’t enough, he’s also a musician. (Think Johnny Cash backed by the Rolling Stones.)

Try not to drool on your keyboard.

He’s brave too. So brave, in fact, that he’s agreed to let me fix him up on national television this fall.

Want to meet him? (That’s him in the pic behind me and Alex Sink.)

Tweet me, Facebook me, text me, or email me if you’re in the Sarasota/Tampa area and you’d be interested in coming on the DAYTIME show to meet bachelor number one.

Should be fun.

Too young for you? Find the best places to meet men over 40.

XO,

Other Stuff You Might Like:

Need Advice for Dating? Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

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DUMPED! The Break-up Survival Guide

Advice for Dating: How Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back?

Lisa — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:19:10 +0000

A lot of women write to me and ask, “How can I get my ex boyfriend back”?

My first question is always, “Why do you want him back?”

After all, unless one of you has been abducted by aliens or struck in the head by lightning, you’ll still be the same ‘ol two of you with the same ‘ol problems. Whatever it was (jealousy, insecurity, cheating, boredom) that broke you up in round one (or round thirty-seven) will likely still be there. Right?

But what if you really, really, really want him back? Or what if the connection you have is so amazing, so special, so meant to be that you can’t imagine your life without him? Or what if you broke up over something stupid, or a misunderstanding, and you just know it can work out if only your guy would give you one more chance?

Sometimes, that’s all we need. A second chance.

A lot of relationship experts will tell you that trying to get back together with an ex is futile. But I will say, in my experience, that there are some things you can do that can increase your chances. And sometimes a couple can over come their past, and find happiness together.

If that’s what you’re looking for, you might want to consider trying this: The Magic of Making Up , which promises to tell you exactly how to win him back. (And better yet, if it doesn’t work, you get your money back.)

To your happily ever after,

XO,

Have a question for Lisa Daily? Leave a comment below.

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Need Advice for Dating? Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

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Guest Blogger Week: Watching iCarly with the Kids

Lisa — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 20:52:15 +0000

I am on deadline for my new YA novel, BEAUTY, in stores Summer 2011. Please enjoy today’s guest blog.
XO,

***

One of the best shows to watch is i Carly and it is a wonderful show for kids. What I love most about watching i Carly is the humor combined with the real life pre-teen issues. It is a great show to watch with kids of varying ages which in my house is very important because with children ranging from 9-16 it can be difficult to find shows that are appropriate for younger children and still entertaining enough for the older children.

i Carly is just one of those shows that has enough action and comedy to keep everyone interested with clean themes and language that make us a parents happy to promote such a show to our children. When we sit and watch it on Satellite TV we usually pop some popcorn, get some sodas and curl up on the couch together. Everyone gets a laugh and we love the special movie episodes that they run each month as well because they are usually 2 hour events and usually run on a Friday night when the whole family can stay up late and watch together.

i Carly is the perfect show and provides entertainment for the children and adults in the household and provides some inexpensive family entertainment and bonding time without having to leave home and spend a lot of money. In the current economy it is wonderful to find ways to spend time together without having to overspend.

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Guest Blogger: Advantages of the Internet for Grandparents

Lisa — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 12:40:58 +0000

I am on deadline for my new YA novel, BEAUTY, in stores Summer 2011. Please enjoy today’s guest blog by Dorothy White.
XO,

***

The internet has brought many advantages to people both old and young. When it comes to grandparents there are many great sites that can help them out in all aspects of life. This article will go over a few different sites and how it can help your grandparents life.

Social Networks: One of the great advantages of the internet is that it offers many different social networks. Your grandparents can use these social networks for some many different reasons. For example, if they have family all over the country and want to stay in touch with them they can simply sign up for Facebook. If they are single and looking to meet someone but don’t get out much, they can turn to the senior citizen dating services. There are so many different social networks out there your grandparents are sure to join at least one that will help their social lives.

Making Purchases: From buying Hearing Aids to ordering groceries your grandparents can do it all from the convenience of their home. Almost every store you can imagine now has a website and offers shipping all over the country, which is how I got Miracle Ear. Whether your grandparents are looking for prescription drugs or their weekly groceries they could find it all on the world wide web.

As you can see there are so many advantages the internet has to offer grandparents. Make sure your grandparents are using this great tool to better their lives. You will be amazed how much the internet can help them.

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Romantic Getaway: What Kind of Pajamas (if any) Should I Pack?

Lisa — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 14:39:51 +0000

I have a romantic wardrobe dilemma.

In just a few weeks, I’ll be heading down to Key West with my sweetie for a thank-gawd-I-finally-finished-my-new-book celebration weekend. (Well, either that, or a How-can-I-even-think-about-drinking-this-banana-daiquiri-on-the-beach-when-I-still-haven’t-finished-my-new-book weekend — I’ll let you know.) Yes, I know what drinking banana daiquiris says about me. But I digress.

So what kind of pajamas does one take on a romantic weekend to a steamy destination? Generally, I’m not a fan of anything scratchy or binding, as far as bedwear goes. I’m also not a fan of the ratty t-shirt look, or the camisole and boy shorts (impossible to keep them from riding up), and I only do men’s pajama bottoms for charity events. I prefer soft little cotton chemises — comfy and uber-girly at the same time.

I was browsing a women’s pajamas site last night, trying to figure out my options. (And believe me, there are lots of options available when you’re in the market to buy women’s pajamas.)

What I realized, however, was that all of the womens pajamas that appealed to me were pretty much the exact same thing that I already have in my closet.

Like this one ——————————->

But the thing about vacations, even mini-vacations, is in getting out of your normal routine. So maybe, instead of my usual darling nighties, I should try something different.

Like not packing any pajamas at all.

What do you think?

XO,

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Marriage Insurance. Seriously.

Lisa — Wed, 19 May 2010 15:17:22 +0000

After decades of round-the-clock tv commercials offering health, car and life insurance quotes in fifteen minutes or less, featuring ducks and gekkos and who knows what else, we all know all about insurance for cars, homes, life insurance, funeral insurance, and even that some celebrities insure their various body parts.

The first celebrity known to insure a body part was a guy that most of us have never heard of — Ben Turpin, a cross-eyed silent movie star, insured his eyes for $20,000 in case they uncrossed. Other celebs followed, Betty Grable insured her legs for a million bucks, and Bette Davis reportedly had a $28,000 policy against gaining weight. (I don’t know about her, but it would be REALLY tough for me to step away from the Twinkies if I knew I’d be getting a $28,000 check in the mail.)

Rumors abounded a few years ago that Jennifer Lopez’s various body parts (specifically, her booty) were insured in the billions, and Michael Flatley, the Lord of The Dance guy’s legs are supposedly insured for $25 million. Tom Jones insured his chest hair (ewww) for $7 million. Keith Richards’ hands are only insured for $1.6 million, which seems paltry by Lord of the Dance standards.

And if all that doesn’t seem odd enough, I recently I learned that you can actually purchase marriage insurance. As in, if you stay married for 25 years or longer (and the Census Bureau says you have about a 33% chance of that happening,) you get to collect some sort of cash payout. The insurance also covers you in case of divorce, one of the leading causes of going broke.

How about insurance for daters? Like if you go out on 15 bad dates in a row, you get $1000. If your boyfriend cheats on you, you get $5000. And if you date some loser for 8 years and he won’t commit, you get $25,000 and a free plane ticket to Jamaica and all the banana dacquiri coupons you can stuff in your purse.

XO,

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