A lot of guys are combing the Internet in search of advice or tips on how to meet women, how to get more sex, or how to become a pick up artist like those one-named wonders Mystery, Style, Gambler, and Matador.

(Full disclosure: as a woman, I can hardly imagine being able to stop cracking up long enough to actually hook up with anyone named “Gambler” or “Matador” if I were otherwise inclined, but I digress.)

Some of the advice given on these pua forums and websites is actually good information — how to stand out and make women notice you (wear bulky clothing to appear bigger than you are, stand in a dominant stance when you’re trying to attract women, use humor to disarm) but many of the sites available purport to teach guys how to get a girlfriend, when in all actuality, they’re really just giving advice on how to get sex by faking a connection that doesn’t really exist, other than insert tab B into slot A.

Two different things.

If you want sex without strings, my advice is not for you. Why? There are always strings. Women are biologically and chemically programmed to bond with a man during sex. Sorry. Sometimes it’s not such a great thing for us either.

If you, however, are interested in actually finding a girlfriend, while pick up advice can help you use your testosterone to your greatest advantage in meeting a woman, the thing to remember is that no two women are alike, no two couples are alike, and that finding a real mental, physical and sexual bond with someone only happens when you’re both being true to who you really are.

So, while pick up advice might help you get the girl, it will rarely help you keep her. There is someone exactly right for the real you. Someone who will love you, respect you, and help you accomplish all that you’re destined to.

Be yourself. And stay away from dorky nicknames.

XO,

Have a question for Lisa Daily? Leave a comment below.

Get more free dating advice from the dating coach! Sign up for Lisa’s free Dating Tips newsletter and get *5 Secrets to Make the Guys Go Gaga!* We never share/sell your info.

More Advice for Dating:

ASK LISA : He never called after I slept with him

What Your Favorite Pizza Topping Says About Your Lovelife

Do You Need A Dating Coach?

Top Reasons Men Dump Their Girlfriends

Need Advice for Dating? Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

Everyone from teen-aged girls to single women to suburban mommies to grandmothers are going crazy over Jacob Black, hottie werewolf and Edward Cullen, the drool-worthy vampire in the wildly popular new Eclipse movie.

Why are women everywhere lusting over Hollywood’s latest bloodsucker? It isn’t just the fact that the vampire Edward Cullen is played by the uber-yummy Robert Pattinson (although that helps.) Twilight author Stephenie Meyer has created the perfect man in Edward: Smart, funny, handsome, and utterly possessed by the girl he loves.

Bring On the Bad Boy Vampires.

Edward isn’t our first vampire to turn our heads, and he certainly won’t be the last. Who can forget Bill from HBO’s popular First Blood, Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and of course, the vampire Lestat from Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles?

What’s so appealing about vampires?

Lit and Hollywood vampires have a stunning appeal to our most basic instincts: They are powerful, they are always devastatingly handsome, and they are more than a little bit dangerous. Vampires are the ultimate bad boys: They are self-assured, inherently sensual and hold the promise of eternal youth. And, um, there’s always the possibility they might bite you in bed.

Not only that, falling for a vampire is the ultimate high stakes love affair — if you win his love, it will be forever. (Although, if you don’t, you’ll probably wind up as his dinner.)

In the case of Edward Cullen, there’s something so devastatingly tempting about a man who is so self-sacrificing – so in love with us that he is willing to deny the most basic part of himself just to be with us. He’ll endure the greatest pain and sacrifice he’s ever known to love us, protect us, save us from the bad guy.

SWF Seeks Vampire .

This is the very reason why we find vampire characters so appealing – they illustrate what we want for ourselves: passionate, once-in-a-lifetime, undying love. Someone who would do anything to be with us. Someone who would protect us from those who might harm us. Someone who’s willing to commit to forever.

But all of those appealing traits come in a very dark package. Our minds know this, but sometimes the appeal of the bad boy, (vampire or otherwise,) is pretty difficult for our hearts to resist.

Why would any woman be willing to risk so much?

Certainly there are some women who like the curl-your-toes challenge of trying to get a leopard to change his spots. But most women who are attracted to such bad boys are suffering from low self-esteem. The only way you feel worthy of love, is if some man deems you so worthy he’s willing to go to extraordinary lengths to win you. You’re looking for someone who sees something in you that you can’t see for yourself.

The problem with this is that dating a high-stakes guy means the odds are a lot higher that you’re going to lose. So, instead of finding that amazing guy who finally makes you feel like you’re worth something, you’re way more likely to end up as roadkill – your heart broken by yet another man to reinforce what you already believe – that you aren’t worth it after all.

And there’s nothing more tragic than that. Because as steamy as Edward and his brethren might be, the truth is, we never find true love until we know we deserve it.

XO,

PS — You deserve it

Get more free dating advice from Lisa Daily & DatingExpert.TV!
Sign up for the free Dating Tips newsletter below and we’ll send you * * 5 Secrets to Make the Guys Go Gaga!* We never share or sell your info.

Other Stuff You Might Like:

Are You Crazy, or Is He Cheating?

6 Things You Should Never Say to a Man

Should You Snoop On Your Guy?

VIDEO: 5 Signs You’re About To Get Dumped

ASK LISA : He never called after I slept with him

ASK LISA : How important is saying “I Love You”?

Will Car Sales Tactics Get Your Guy to Propose?

Need Advice for Dating? Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

Hold on to your keyboards, kids, I have some news that’s going to shock you. Oh, wait, never mind.

‘Bachelor’ show Pilot Jake Pavelka and Florida party girl Vienna Girardi have broken up amidst accusations that Vienna has been cheating with Gregory Michael of the ABC Family show ‘Greek.’ Vienna denies the rumors.

Jake is best known for crying after being eliminated from Dancing With The Stars, saying, “This is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be.” TMZ is reporting that Vienna’s step mom Lisa implies that Jake is “only motivated by ratings and not love” and said, “in real life, they never kissed, didn’t have a romantic relationship and he never told her that he loved her.”

Of the 14 couples created on “The Bachelor”, all have broken up. The only marriage so far resulted when Season 13 Bachelor Jason Mesnick dumped the girl he proposed to on the show, Melissa Rycroft, and married the runner-up, Molly Malaney, instead. On TV, of course.

Normally, I’d offer some kind words of advice on how to survive a breakup to poor Jake and Vienna, but the truth is, I don’t think they were ever a real couple. In watching them together on film in and photos, their body language doesn’t suggest love, just really bad acting.

See more break up signs here.

XO,

Get more free dating advice from Lisa Daily & DatingExpert.TV!
Sign up for the free Dating Tips newsletter below and we’ll send you * * 5 Secrets to Make the Guys Go Gaga!* We never share or sell your info.

Other Stuff You Might Like:

Are You Crazy, or Is He Cheating?

6 Things You Should Never Say to a Man

Should You Snoop On Your Guy?

VIDEO: 5 Signs You’re About To Get Dumped

ASK LISA : He never called after I slept with him

ASK LISA : How important is saying “I Love You”?

Will Car Sales Tactics Get Your Guy to Propose?

Need Advice for Dating? Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.