I have been seeing a guy for about six months now. Shortly after we first met, he asked me to go to Miami with him to go to a modeling competition that he was in. Once we got to Miami, I found out that he didn’t have any money, so I ended up paying for everything. This guy is really a nice guy, but lately there has been a lot of inconsistency in our relationship. Whenever we go out, I always have to pay because he claims that he does not have any money.
For about the past month he has been going out of town every single weekend and when he goes, for whatever reason I don’t hear from him. When I finally talk to him he tells me that his cell phone was not working or he left it home along with his pager. One weekend, I actually caught him coming out of his house with a girl. When he saw me pull up, he ran in the house and had his cousin tell me he wasn’t in there. I am still talking to him, but I really don’t know what to do about him anymore because know I think he feels like he can do anything that he wants to me and its suppose to be okay.
It seems like I show all the feelings and he doesn’t. How can I change the relationship around and have him chasing after me?
Chasing Him
Dear Chasing,
Wow, this guy sure does do a lot of traveling for somebody who is always broke.
You’d better sit down for this one, because I’m going to give it to you straight up: Your guy is sleeping with other girls. And he’s playing you.
The reason he feels like he can do anything and it is okay is because you are allowing him to treat you that way by putting up with it. The reason you never hear from him when he’s out of town is because he’s with another girl. Really. Nobody’s cell phone just goes dead on the weekends. You say that you are the one showing all the feelings, but that isn’t really true, is it? He’s showing you his feelings on a daily basis: he doesn’t care about you and doesn’t respect you.
You are a woman, not a doormat. Dump him; you deserve much, much better. This guy doesn’t just chase girls, he chases fire trucks.
XO,
Lisa
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To learn more about what dating coaching is all about, or to schedule your appointment for personal dating coaching with dating coach Lisa Daily, call our offices at 941-894-6837.
About Lisa Daily
Internationally-known dating coach Lisa Daily can tell you why he didn’t call, the color you should never wear on a first date, and even where to snoop for evidence if you think your guy’s been fooling around. Millions read her dating advice column or tune in to see her every week on Daytime, a nationally-syndicated morning TV show.
Women from 16-60 flock to Lisa’s popular Dream Girl Academy at the Learning Annex in New York City and events across the US. Lisa is a dating coach, speaker and popular media guest — she has done more than 2000 interviews on top radio and television shows, including iVillage Live, MTV Live, Entertainment Tonight and top UK national morning show, This Morning, and she appears as a real-life dating expert on the HITCH movie DVD starring Will Smith. A frequent source for reporters, Lisa has been quoted in hundreds of publications, from the New York Times, Washington Post and Chicago Tribune to Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Men’s Health, Christian Science Monitor and US Weekly Magazine.
Lisa
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One of the biggest challenges of dating is feeling confident and looking fabulous. (And, uh, meeting someone who doesn’t make us want to climb out the bathroom window, but that’s another post.)
To give us some help with that, I asked my pal Jackie Silver (who always looks completely amazing,) author of Aging Backwards: Secrets to Staying Young to spill her best anti-aging beauty secrets. If Jackie looks familiar, you’ve probably seen her on TV as the nationally-syndicated DAYTIME show’s beauty expert or read her column in the Tampa Tribune.
Lisa Daily:
What are the top three things women should do right now to start Aging Backwards?
Jackie:
1) Get some rest! 7-8 hours of sleep is mandatory - our bodies “tune up” when we’re sleeping. Sleep is very important for balanced hormones. Women over 40, try melatonin to fall asleep and stay asleep (it’s also used for jet-lag.) You can find Melatonin at your local health food store.
2) Get up off the couch! Exercise is the Fountain of Youth. When people hear the words “anti-aging,” they tend to think of face creams or lasers or even plastic surgery, but there is a myriad of other aspects of “Aging Backwards” and exercise is one of the most important ones. Not only does working out benefit the heart and lungs, increase strength and muscle tone and keep the body lean, but it also helps to lower stress levels, improve sleep and mood, get rid of toxins and actually makes the skin look younger by increasing circulation and delivering nutrients to skin cells. Talk about multi-tasking…
3) You’re sweet enough - cut down on sugar! Experts believe that a lifetime of overeating sugar can cause wrinkles by damaging collagen. A high-sugar diet also affects the type of collagen you have — another factor in how resistant skin is to wrinkling. The most abundant collagen types in the skin are I, II and III, with type III being the most stable and long-lasting. Glycation, the process that occurs when you eat sugar, turns type III collagen into type I, which is more fragile, making the skin look and feel less supple. It also leaves you more vulnerable to sun damage.
Lisa Daily:
What are women’s top three complaints about aging and how do we combat them?
Jackie: 1) What can I do about wrinkles?
Discover the Hollywood secrets that’s been around since the 1889! Frownies, little patches that you wear while you sleep. They retrain the muscles underneath the skin to lay flat, sort of like yoga or pilates - for your face! And, in today’s economy you can’t find anything much more affordable - they work out to about six cents each. Psst, they’re not just for frown lines either. They have several different configurations to address all areas of the face. (www.frownies.com)
2) Why are the extra pounds creeping on?
There’s no disputing it - as we age, it gets harder and harder to keep off the excess pounds. There are so many reasons for this, including hormonal changes, slower metabolism, loss of muscle (we lose about one percent muscle mass every year after age 40!), decreased activity and more. Here’s a very simple, effective way to get started losing weight: super-size your veggies and half-size everything else. If you make that one little change, cutting current portions in half and adding vegetables, you will start to see a difference.
3) Help, my hands look like claws!
Hands can show your age, even if your face looks 30. Here are some tips for keeping your hands as young as the rest of you. By now we all know that a good face cream with SPF 30 or above is a must, but do you remember to coat the tops of your hands daily, too? Here’s a great tip for instantly younger hands - add nail polish and bling! A study revealed that when shown photos of the same hands with and without polish and jewelry, participants thought the ones with the polish and bling looked younger.
Lisa Daily:
What’s your number one anti-aging secret?
Jackie:
I like anything that’s “instantaneous,” which is why I love the world’s first anti-aging perfume, Ageless. Research shows that the scent of pink grapefruit makes a man perceive a woman as younger. Ageless Perfume combines the essence of pink grapefruit with other “young” scents such as luscious mango, pomegranate. jasmine and musk into a beautiful, fresh-smelling fragrance. Research proves that men in the company of women who used the perfume thought they were on average eight years younger. Forget the men for a second - I think Ageless smells amazing! I spray it on before I go to sleep for beautiful dreams. (http://agelessfantasy.com/)
Lisa Daily:
Since the economy is so crazy right now, what products should we splurge on, and what products should we get a bargain on?
Jackie:
That’s a great question! Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to spend a fortune on expensive night creams. In fact, Good Housekeeping rated Olay Micro-Sculpting Cream as number one night cream over all the super-expensive ones! It retails for somewhere around $25. Olay also has a new line of excellent anti-aging products, Olay Professional Pro-X, and you can download a $25 rebate form on their Web site: www.olayprofessional.com
As for splurging, I’d have to say it’s best to skip the at-home hair coloring and leave it to the professionals. Young hair is shiny and healthy with dimensional color. Your hairdresser has studied extensively and knows all the ins and outs of getting it right. Studying the instructions on the box is not exactly the equivalent. (LOL)
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Dear Lisa,
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