Dear Lisa,

Dear Chasing,

Wow, this guy sure does do a lot of traveling for somebody who is always broke.

You’d better sit down for this one, because I’m going to give it to you straight up: Your guy is sleeping with other girls. And he’s playing you.

The reason he feels like he can do anything and it is okay is because you are allowing him to treat you that way by putting up with it. The reason you never hear from him when he’s out of town is because he’s with another girl. Really. Nobody’s cell phone just goes dead on the weekends. You say that you are the one showing all the feelings, but that isn’t really true, is it? He’s showing you his feelings on a daily basis: he doesn’t care about you and doesn’t respect you.

You are a woman, not a doormat. Dump him; you deserve much, much better. This guy doesn’t just chase girls, he chases fire trucks.

XO,
Lisa

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Scientists say that it is possible to predict whose marriage will succeed or fail, based entirely
on pictures from your childhood from as young as age 5.

According to an article in The Daily Mail, the study found that “Those with the brightest smiles are more than three times as likely to have a strong marriage than those who frown their way through family outings as a child or teenager.”

The scientists from DePauw University in Indiana studied 650 adults aged 21-87, rating their photos for the brightness of their smiles from their final year of school.

The researchers then asked the volunteers about their marital history to study if one variable affected the other.

Their findings?

According to the Daily Mail article, “Those with the weakest smiles were more than three times as likely to have been through a divorce than those who beamed their way through their teenage years”

A second study, using photos taken when participants were as young as five years old, confirmed the results.

Smiling kids have a lower chance of divorce.

Why?

Researchers have several theories. One theory is that happy people tend to marry other happy people and they’re, well, happier. Another theory is that happy people may be more likely to work through trouble in a relationship. And finally, some researchers theorize that happiness is actually contagious.

There is some research to back up the contagious happiness theory, found a study by Nicholas Christakis, a professor of medical sociology at Harvard Medical School and James Fowler, a political scientist at the University of California, San Diego. According to Fowler, “If a social contact is happy, it increases the likelihood that you are happy by 15 percent.”

Fowler said, “A friend of a friend, or the friend of a spouse or a sibling, if they are happy, increases your chances by 10 percent.”

And, according to their findings, even a friend thrice removed - a friend of a friend of a friend increases your happiness by 6%.

The lesson? Make sure you check out your date’s photo album before things get serious. And if you’re already involved with a childhood non-smiler, at the very least, surround yourself with happy people.

Lisa

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Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

Dear Lisa,

Party Girl

Dear Party Girl,

Your ex is not the only one giving importance to these girls -you are too! They may feel some satisfaction in having a hand in your breakup but you need to remember this:

1) What goes around comes around, and those girls will get what they deserve ultimately, (including but not limited to: prominent cold sores on the first day of a new job, chronic stupidity, perpetually frizzy hair…)

2) Nobody who is actually happy goes around trying to create misery for other people. These girls are likely very insecure and unhappy themselves.

3) Did you say MOB?

Here’s what you do: feel sorry for them, and ignore them. But don’t give them any power in your life.

That said, you have two immediate questions. First, how do you handle this party? Don’t go. You know they are going to be there, you know it’s going to be difficult, so save yourself the torture and make other plans. Either go out with other friends, or skip this one altogether and spend the night pampering yourself - soak in the tub, order in a large pepperoni and do your toes red. Don’t tell your ex, the mean girls, or anybody else that you won’t be attending or the reason why, for all they know, you’ve received a better offer. (And even spending the evening getting a bikini wax (eeeck!) is a much better offer than torturing yourself in the presence of your ex and a few girls who aren’t particularly concerned with your happiness.)

Spend the evening with yourself or other, supportive friends. No amount of cash is worth making yourself crazy, and that’s just what you’ll be doing if you go.

Second question: How do you get him back? Wait, darlin’, before we go on, I have a question – why in the world would you want him back? He ‘s telling you he doesn’t want to be with you. Translated in guy-speak that usually means “he doesn’t want to be with you.” Why waste your heart (and all your fabulous party clothes, I’ll bet) on somebody who doesn’t even appreciate it?

I wouldn’t get back together with this guy unless he got hit by lightning and had a life-altering moment in which he realized how utterly spectacular you are. Using those criteria, I think we can safely reserve him a permanent spot in the ex-files. Relationships are difficult enough without having the added (and fruitless, I might add) challenge of convincing a guy who doesn’t want to be with you to stick around for another week. Hit the ground running. Date someone who wants to be with you too.

XO,
Lisa

Have a question for Lisa Daily? Leave a comment below.

Get more free dating advice from Lisa Daily & DatingExpert.TV!
Sign up for the free Dating Tips newsletter below and we’ll send you * * 5 Secrets to Make the Guys Go Gaga!* We never share or sell your info.

Related Articles:

DUMPED! The Break-up Survival Guide

ASK LISA : He never called after I slept with him

Are You Crazy, or Is He Cheating?

What Your Favorite Pizza Topping Says About Your Lovelife

Will Car Sales Tactics Get Your Guy to Propose?

VIDEO: 5 Signs You’re About To Get Dumped

Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally relatable and hilarious novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

Read the first 5 chapters FREE at http://www.lisadaily.com
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