A lot of women write to me and ask, “How can I get my ex boyfriend back”?

My first question is always, “Why do you want him back?”

After all, unless one of you has been abducted by aliens or struck in the head by lightning, you’ll still be the same ‘ol two of you with the same ‘ol problems. Whatever it was (jealousy, insecurity, cheating, boredom) that broke you up in round one (or round thirty-seven) will likely still be there. Right?

But what if you really, really, really want him back? Or what if the connection you have is so amazing, so special, so meant to be that you can’t imagine your life without him? Or what if you broke up over something stupid, or a misunderstanding, and you just know it can work out if only your guy would give you one more chance?

Sometimes, that’s all we need. A second chance.

A lot of relationship experts will tell you that trying to get back together with an ex is futile. But I will say, in my experience, that there are some things you can do that can increase your chances. And sometimes a couple can over come their past, and find happiness together.

If that’s what you’re looking for, you might want to consider trying this: The Magic of Making Up , which promises to tell you exactly how to win him back. (And better yet, if it doesn’t work, you get your money back.)

To your happily ever after,

XO,

Have a question for Lisa Daily? Leave a comment below.

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Need Advice for Dating? Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

Be sure to tune in to Daytime on Tuesday, May 19 when I’ll be talking about Virtual Dating Assistants

Too Busy to Date Online? Virtual Dating Assistants Will Write Your Profile, Answer Your Messages, and Even Pick the Restaurant.

Some people just don’t have 40 hours a week to devote to finding someone special. Busy professionals have long had difficulty finding love online, because the searching and responding to dozens or hundreds of potential suitors, not to mention going out on dates, can take hours every single day. But now, help may be on the way.

What is a Virtual Dating Assistant?
Basically, a Virtual Dating Assistant is someone you hire to do the heavy lifting when it comes to online dating. After an in-depth interview, your Virtual Dating Assistant will comb dating sites looking for suitable matches, send selections to you for approval, and even woo your selections with witty online banter. Once a date is arranged (they’ll even pick the restaurant) your Virtual Dating Assistant will provide you with a sort of “romantic white paper” to let you know what the fake you and your real date have been talking about, and all of the things you probably have in common.

Can they really help to find you someone great?
Virtual Dating Assistants can help you if you’re very particular in your desires (one client had a clown fetish and was looking for a woman who owned her own pair of red floppy shoes, water-squirting flower, and red squeaky nose.) The gentleman’s VDA set him up with not one, but three women who fit the bill. So, if you have, um, unusual taste, a Virtual Dating Assistant might just be what you need.

Scott Valdez, the founder of Virtual Dating Assistant says that the majority of his clients are “busy professionals.” In many cases, a high-powered job prevents them from spending the amount of time necessary to successfully date online. Most of his clients are men. According to Scott, attractive women can receive hundreds of messages every week, and frequently they don’t have the time or desire to weed through all the frogs to find their princes.

How much do the services cost, and where can you find a Virtual Dating Assistant?
Prices vary among smaller companies, but the biggest VDA company Virtual Dating Assistants offers packages that range from $600 per month for 40 hours of dating assistance to $1200 per month for 80 hours of dating help. That’s right, two full time employees (freelancers, actually) doing nothing but combing the Internet for Mr. or Ms. Right on your behalf.

Is it ethical?
It’s sort of a mixed bag on that one for me. I don’t think that having someone write your profile, search for possible matches, or even sort through potential dates is unethical in the least. Many people aren’t spectacular writers, and frankly, having someone else to narrow down the 40 million prospects available on the gazillion or so dating sites online doesn’t seem like a big ethics problem either.

Here’s what I have trouble with: One person pretending to be another. The idea of some writer/poseur who makes somewhere in the neighborhood of $8 -$10 an hour as the faux you. It’s terribly unfair to the person your VDA is wooing. They think they’re connecting with you. Really, they’re connecting with a set of facts posing as a human. They think that you’re spending ten hours a week (or whatever) pursuing them. But really, you’re not. According to Valdez, most times a male writer will write for a male client, and a female writer will write for a female client. But sometimes, a female writer will write for a male client. Which means, if you’re a woman dating online and you’ve just found the sensitive but manly guy you’ve always dreamed of, beware: it might just be a chick.

How is that going to work out when the client and his date finally come face to face?

One of the biggest complaints that women and men have when it comes to online dating is that lying is rampant. Men lie about their age, height and financial status. Women tend to lie about their age and weight. Does a VDA service really do anything but continue to ramp up the already prevalent bullshit factor?

Also, it’s hard enough to make the transition from online banter to offline chemistry. But if the online connection isn’t even real, what chance do you have of a real spark?

One more thought: If you’re too busy to find a date online, how are you ever going to find time for a relationship?

Lisa appears every week on Daytime, check your local TV listings for times and stations.
XO,

With millions looking for love online, sweetheart scams (also known as 419 scams ) are occurring in epic proportions. And many are finding out they’ve lost a lot more than their hearts.

How does it work?

Dating scammers use several common methods to get you to part with your money. Below, you’ll find the most common.

The I’m Working Abroad and I Can’t Cash My Paycheck Scam
The scammer tells the victim that they’re working out of the country, but they’re having a hard time cashing their paycheck at a foreign bank. They ask you if you’ll cash a money order for them, and wire the money.

What happens next:
You deposit the money order, wire the cash, and all is lovely until a few days later when your bank discovers that the money order is fake and debits your account for the full amount. Bad news for you, as you’ve already sent the cash to Nigeria.

The I Was On My Way To The Airport And I Got Into A Terrible Accident Scam
You’ve met online, you’ve made a connection, and he/she can’t wait to be with you, so you send money for a plane ticket. Bad news! On the way to the airport, your date meets with a terrible accident and shockingly, the hospital only takes cash.

What happens next:
Maybe you talk on the phone to a fake hospital administrator, maybe you just send the money right away. Either way, your sweetheart’s medical issues will continue to get worse, and more expensive until you run out of cash. Then, you’ll never hear from them again.

The Great Expectations Scam
You sign up via high pressure sales tactics with a local dating agency only to discover they’ve misrepresented the number of members, number of potential matches for you, or number of couples who’ve met through their service — but by the time you find out, you’re already past their 3-day contract cancellation window.

What happens next:
You’re probably out thousands of dollars. Check with your state Attorney General to see what your next steps are, and mention the Arizona Attorney General’s case.

How to protect yourself:

1) Don’t send money to someone you’ve never met in person. Sweetheart scammers will take months to set you up, and it will feel like a real relationship.

2) Most internet dating scams originate in Nigeria and Russia, so be extremely cautious with dating anyone living in those regions, even if they pretend to be from the UK or USA.

3) Stay on the dating site to communicate, don’t give out your personal email. Many sites are set up to flag members who ask for money and shut them down.

4) Guard your account information and personal information carefully

5) Some dating sites claim to protect you from scams, however you should always be sure to follow Internet safety precautions.

6) Don’t send money.

7) Trust your gut instinct. Many victims of Internet crime have reported feeling like something was “not quite right.” Pay attention to what your instincts are telling you.

If you’ve been scammed on the Internet, who should you report it to? The Internet Crime Complaint Center

Lisa

Get more free dating advice from Lisa Daily & DatingExpert.TV!
Sign up for the free Dating Tips newsletter below and we’ll send you * 5 Secrets to Make the Guys Go Gaga!* We never share or sell your info.

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Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You’ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.